At one time not too long ago, tattoos were unique and only the tough guy/girl had them. They also adorned the biceps and chest of soldiers and sailors from the great (in size, not popularity) wars by the millions. Unfortunately, the art was not perfected at that time and now those works look like blobs of blue and/or black ink. All those drawings of anchors with girlfriend’s names and battleships with guns blazing are now indistinguishable. What a shame…
If you know me, you know I was pretty wild in my younger days; some may say daft. Too many times I drank way too many beers, so it’s a surprise to me and to many of my friends that I remain tattoo-less. In my adult and sensible years I have thought many times about getting some body art to spruce up the place, but still remain a blank canvas. I suppose the issue has always been, “What design do I get?” I’m patriotic. I love the U.S.A. and after attacks on Oklahoma City and the World Trade Center a flag tattoo has been on my mind. Who could ever complain about displaying the greatest symbol of freedom on the planet? I’ve also considered a tattoo with the name of my band, The Counts. It’s not your normal band. The same five guys have been playing together for the last 40+ years. I’ve had some of the greatest times of my life in that band. Why not ink it on my skin for posterity?
I have two boys, both grown now, so any pictures of them now would just be plain weird. But what about those tats of young children that people get? Have you seen how absolutely creepy those are? All young babies come out looking like Winston Churchill and the rest of the tattoos I’ve seen could be public relations photos for a remake of Children of the Corn with a couple of Damiens in the mix.
What do I think about tattoos on women? Thanks for asking. I probably think the same thing about tattoos on women that Sandra Bullock thinks about tattoos on women. Unless they are hidden and I only see them when they are the last thing on my mind, I approve. Now having said that, there is Kat Von d who has her own Tattoo Shop and TV Show (LA Ink). She is covered, but I would not hesitate to do her on second base at Yankee Stadium during the seventh inning stretch of the All-Star game at Yankee Stadium while Ronan Tynan is singing God Bless America. Keep reading my blogs. I'll let you know if I'm making any progress towards this loftiest of goals.
Kat Von d
But even so, some day she is going to be 70 and believe me, that is not going to be pretty. I have this sinking feeling that she will wind up looking like a pair of those madras shorts from the 60s.
So, tattoos are hot right now. I recently spent some time at the beach and I’d have to say without exaggeration, 80% of the guys and 40% of the girls had at least one. That’s convincing! I’m not going to say anything other than keep them off your neck, face and hands… most other places you can cover when you need to.
If I’m interviewing a young man or woman and their fingers are adorned with homemade tattoos, they’ve just punched their ticket to an early exit. It’s not necessarily the way I feel, but I have to be sensitive to the feelings and views of my clients and I cannot send these kids (as nice as they may be) out into my business world. Period.
Despite everything I’ve written about tattoos and how they may be THE thing to do today, I hope there is one new popular fad that will stop dead in its own tracks. I’m not sure what it’s even called, but guys (and girls) stop sticking things through your ear lobes until you have holes the diameters of Susan B. Anthony dollars in them. Susan B. waited all these years to get her face on the dollar and this is how you say thank you?
Anyway.. WTF is this ear thing all about? I know; tribesmen do it, but listen to me 15 year-old Connor Ludlow** of White Plains NY and sophomore at Exeter Academy, YOU ARE NOT A TRIBESMAN. You are a tenth generation irish catholic white boy from Westchester County, NY; hardly the great plains of Africa.
I first saw this ear thing in an issue of National Geographic when I was a kid. I only meant to see the naked tribeswomen, but even at an early age I realized that the naked tribeswomen could always put shirts on when the photo shoot was over. What about the guys with the holes in their ears? Well, in a word, they were fu*k*d, especially when the wind started to blow. Can you imagine what it would be like trying to sneak up on a herd of wildebeest when the wind starts blowing through those holes? Bye bye wildebeest.....
The only thing I can liken it to is 15 year-old Connor Ludlow with Swiss cheese for ear lobes trying to sneak up on a group of cute young girls in his church group. Bye bye cuties....(sorry girls that I couldn’t compare you to something cuter than wildebeest). I was exercising bloggers license....
**Connor Ludlow is a name I made up as I created this post. Any likeness of this Connor L to any real Connor L on the planet is strictly coincidental, but pretty unusual, eh?
RIGHT ON! I ditto ALL of that one. While I do have a rose tatoo, it is discreetly placed where few see it but as I get older and larger, my rose ain't lookin so good, it's wilting slightly..it's aging with me. No regrets tho, just glad I stopped with ONE. My son in law recently got turned down for a job, a management position because you can see the tatoo on his neck...it's my granddaughters name, HOPE. Nothing offensive but not management material. Once again, you know what you are talking about!
ReplyDelete